i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
