im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
