i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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