She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
