sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That accounts for only three of the penises
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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