Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
