Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
