Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
