well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
