I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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