i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
