Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
