I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
