Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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