GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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