I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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