i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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