their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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