how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
