what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Floor bacon is actually really good
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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