if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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