shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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