break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
