my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We are all done wearing pants today
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