...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize