Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
