I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
