I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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