Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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