i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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