that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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