I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
