First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
