so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
