i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
