its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
