so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
