You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
