The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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