My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
