you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
