You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
