i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
