How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I cannot find my penis.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
