her vagine was all disorganized.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
