Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
