Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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