break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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