I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
