The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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