girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
