At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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