i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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