I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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