i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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