I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
