she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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