East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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