Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
