just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize